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I conclude that people that stay together for a lifetime (stay together until death they do part) are simply lucky. They are lucky that their biological makeup has not pushed them apart, they are lucky that the events in their lives they have no control over have not pushed them apart. They are also lucky that the way they have changed over the years has not pushed them apart. It seems that you cannot avoid heartbreak, and it takes a lot of luck if you are planning on staying with the same person for the rest of your life.

Title: What Does It Take To Make Love Last A Lifetime?

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These words of St. Thérèse are often cited as explaining the commonvocation of all persons. Every person is called to love, and finds hisfulfillment in love. And yet St. Thérèse seems to consider that she hasfound her vocation in love. Some persons are called tobe eyes for the Church, others to be hands, others to be feet... herplace is in the Church's heart. Some are called to be teachers, somehealers, some helpers... she is called to be a lover.

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Is there a contradiction between these two ways of understanding? Dowe have to choose, and say either that love is the common vocation ofus all, or that it is the special vocation of St. Thérèse, and perhapssome other Carmelites? Is her little way of love really possible andmeaningful for those who cannot devote themselves to her way of life,for those who have a family, and cannot be a “spouse of Christ” etc.?

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By devotely herself absolutely to love alone, she shows forth more clearly that this love is the essential point for Christians, and ought to be the center and wellspring of all Christian life. The fundamental meaning of every vocation is a love story that unfolds between God and the person whom he calls. Thus, St. Thérèse, by demonstrating with her own life the central place of love for all men and women, performsa specific function for Christ and for the Church. The universalvocation to love is the foundation for St. Thérèse's special vocationto be a living model and teacher of such love. Her little way is both her own unique vocation, and is a way that can be followed by anyone, whatever his or her vocation his.

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When we asked variations of the question, what does it mean when heterosexual females have a passion for creating and reading stories involving love between males?, it was often obvious that many of the answers we were given were what the participants in the dojinshi subculture tell themselves. The most frequently heard statements were versions of "two men are better than one." Beneath this statement lies the possibility that women see themselves in relationship to--or is it in relationships with?--both the dominant seme male and the submissive uke male. We think that it is especially notable that respondents within the dojinshi subculture were invariably careful to draw a distinction between the genre of manga created for the gay male community. "Gay stuff is more real," explained a yaoi fan echoing other female informants who repeatedly told us that the genre of manga found in the gay community is "about reality" By reality, yaoi readers were referring to depictions of behaviors which actually occur between gay males. On the other hand, yaoi and boys' love dojinshi, which "are fantasy," are seen as the imagined relationships between males, which exist only in the minds of female yaoi creators and readers. These two types of depictions of human sexuality, to the unknowing viewer may appear virtually the same, but to the two sets of creators and interpreters--one predominantly gay male and the other predominantly heterosexual female--are signs whose meanings are a world apart.

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The implicit assumption underlying yaoi stories is that the love between males is superior to ordinary forms of love than exist between males and females. This assumption may result from young Japanese females' beliefs, both conscious and unconscious, about their male-dominated society in which many women believe that once married romance will disappear, replaced by the duties of wife, mother, and housekeeper. In thousands of ways mere male friendships, and sometimes improbable or taboo relationships--say between brothers, are transformed into romantic relationships. This ideal romantic love is never thwarted by little things such as petty jealousies. This supposed superior love, although ostensibly between males, displays distinctly feminine qualities. The characters in yaoi parodies, for example, combine delicate almost feminine physical features with physical strength. Indeed most of the males are slender, physically beautiful, fragile, sensitive, and in many instances they appear androgynous. Before yaoi emerged, female fans associated with June magazine were enamored with tanbi which implies refined aesthetic taste and an obsession for beautiful things (Sagawa, personal communication, June 6, 2002). This obsession pervades boys' love narratives. Curiously, even in the case of rape or rough sex, a gentleness characterizes many yaoi stories.