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On 4th section of ‘Video transcript for how to write an essay introduction’ under Introduction Practice, it has been written ‘Health we cannot change but we couldn’t we could paraphrase the word improve.’ Is this sentence grammatically correct?

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Hello, I hope you are doing well. Thank you so much for all of your video and your tips. All is very helpful. I just have one question about introduction in writing task 2. After the thesis statement, can I clearly add a sentence outlining what my essay will say? Is it incorrect or too much if I say: “In my opinion, I agree that exercise is the key to health. Firstly, this essay will discuss how exercising routinely can boost health and secondly, it will discuss that diet is also important.” And may I do this for any IELTS essay question?

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Hi liz,
first of all, thank you for such an informative blog about IELTS. it’s simply amazing and effective.
i have a question about the part 2 introduction, can i write as”i agree that exercise is the key to improve health but i think diet is also playing an important role in it for reasons this essay shall discuss.” ?

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Hi, Liz.
First, thank you for your time to share how to write an introduction in T2.
What I am concerned about is whether such a structure for introduction also works for an essay aiming at band score of 9? assuming other parts, like contents, lexical resource and grammar are on the right track.
or band score of 9 indeed needs a hook or something really catch the eye of examiners.
Thank you!
Alex

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In the writing task 2 introduction paragraph, after paraphrasing and the thesis statement, should I state what I am going to write about in the body paragraphs. For example, “This essay will discuss xxx and xxx”.

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On 4th section of ‘Video transcript for how to write an essay introduction’ under Introduction Practice, it has been written ‘Health we cannot change but we couldn’t we could paraphrase the word improve.’ Is this sentence grammatically correct?