First of all, we are online since 2003 with years of experience!
And yet, I am profoundly unfree.
Ah, my struggle, my damn daily struggle, which gets translated into everything including the novel I have been writing for three long years now, while taking care of my children and a busy husband. I have struggled with the demand not “go to work”, so I can write and take care of everything apart from earning serious money. I have been guilt ridden and now I am at the breaking point. How often have I sworn the same thing: I will never remarry if anything should happen to my beloved, I will never ever date a guy and get convinced to live together…..and being 55, there will be no more kids and yet, here I am, serving my family with love and squeeze the writing in the leftover hours. I just participated in a self publishing seminar and the first thing I learned is to take the writing so seriously as to give it a firm primetime schedule and not to waver from it. Now that my last kid is a junior at Highschool, I finally take the plunge. Its time, rain or shine. But the issue of women’s freedom, art-career or family, bread-job or writing/painting/anything creative remains. As long as there is no safe affordable childcare, a fair legal share of men’s and women’s work and family time, as long as there is a ever-growing demand by employers to be available 24/7 and no general wage for home-makers, stay at home moms or dads, so long nothing will change. My daughter swears never to have children, she is disgusted with the status and the options. And I am sad to say, I can hardly blame her. Thank you for this long lament, I hear you.
Tolstoy’s wife wrote in her journal:
Dee…THANK YOU ! Thank you for saying what I was first muttering then bellowing throughout my reading of this article . With additional ” ARE you fucking kidding me?? “s thrown in . How in the jesus do you describe a guy that …seriously ? – …leaves his nasty draws lying ON THE FLOOR ? Behind a damn DOOR ?? – for the maid to pick up you understand , as perfect for you etc?? Plus all the other stuff. I don’t believe I have ever …and I am past the half century mark…seen a worse case of denial , self-hatred , enabling or Doormat Syndrome in an otherwise bright , articulate young woman . Has this girl no FRIENDS ? Who might mirror to her what is actually going on ? Her interesting disquisition on women/ artists , time , Motherhood and the like simply disappears under an avalanche of what on EARTH is this girl permitting which any sensible reader must be thinking .