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I generally comment on IELTS exam technique rather than English. Try to avoid writing about yourself or friends in an IELTS essay. Don’t use “you” or “your”. Also try to balance your paragraphs and make sure that each main point is equally developed. Vocabulary is not a problem, you need to learn more about essay writing techniques. Please see the rules for posting writing:
Liz

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How to Write an Essay (with Pictures) - wikiHow

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In this article the author explains what auctions are, how to spot bargains in auctions, what to protect yourself from at auctions, and other facts about auctions and the people who go to them.] 3 Surprising statement: A surprising statement is a favoriteintroductory technique of professional writers.

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You use examples from your own experience about the world, not your own experience about your personal life. You should present examples in a way suitable for essay writing which doesn’t include stories about yourself or people you know. It should be your experience of the world.
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Liz

Essay about yourself examples
Essay intro about yourself

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Introducing yourself essay

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Throughout your academic career, you will often be asked to write essays

Mar 11, 2017 · How to Write an Academic Essay