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thank you for your effort Ms. Liz
Anw, I mean no disrespect to you but eventhough this sample has a clear logic and good supported sentences, I Feel like this is not a band 9 essay, as there should be more complex sentences and ideas should be more fully supported. Am I wrong? Pls let me know.

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Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Firstly, dealing with the issues surrounding obesity and weight problems is best solved by taking a long term approach and introducing more sport and exercise in schools. This method will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will not have such health problems. At the moment, the average child in the West does sport possibly twice a week, which is not enough to counteract their otherwise sedentary lifestyle. However, by incorporating more sports classes into the curriculum as well as encouraging extracurricular sports activities, they will undoubtedly become fitter and more active.

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Diabetes Mellitus has no known medical cure and so the next best option is to adequately manage the disease to mitigate its effects and prolong the lifespan of the sufferer. A combination of proper dieting, exercising and medication to maintain blood sugar levels within safe limits is the key.

Next lesson, we will look at how to write the body paragraphs for this essay.

This is a highly controversial issue.

No, the examiner knows it isn’t your English and that you learned it in order to put it in your essay – in nearly all and every essay. It’s used by so many students around the world. Don’t use it. You don’t need it.

The crux of the discussion is …

Hi liz, I have 2 questions to ask. the first one is
`can I use I deem or it is demeed to be in order to paraphrase I think or it is considered?`
The second one is in part 0 of speaking task, when I’ll be asked `how are you?` Can I use a slang to respond, for instance by saying I got a hitch in my giddy up.
Looking forward to your answer.

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It is the safest way if you don’t feel confident with your English or exam techniques. Students using the balanced view really should be trained to use it correctly.
All the best
Liz

This essay will discuss both sides and give an opinion at the end.

To me, it is more straight forward and fair, that no matter how often they see a particular expression, this does not affect the score negatively as long as the essay satisfy above 4 aspects….
but I am bit confused if this is the case that examiner marks in a manner that changes upon just how frequently he/she sees the expression on even other examinees’ essays….just my thought.

In the modern era, … / Since the dawn of time ….

It is cosidered by some that,increasing number of obese people in a society exerts pressure on the healthcare system and it can be tackled by introducing more physical activities in schools.I agree with that ,however,I also think that diet control and lifestyle modification will also help to solve this problem to some extent.

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Does this mean that IELTS examiners are, to some extent, giving different marks on how often they see particular expressions/vocabularies rather than purely considering 4 criteria (Cohesion/Task Response/Grammar/Vocabulary)?